Gift

(Evelyn in the fort I built for her and Alton a few weeks ago.)

So for some reason I've been feeling a little blue. Maybe just from being so sick last weekend and being left completely exhausted (doesn't help that I can't sleep either). So, especially in the evening time when it's dark outside I just have been feeling sad and don't really know what to do with myself. It reminds me, on a much lesser level, of the awful, dark post-partum depression I suffered after Alton was born. When Barry would leave to go back to school I would just cry and cry for hours and feel so lost.

Last night when Barry was ready for bed I was very tired, but not super anxious to get in bed because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. As I was trying to figure out what I would do with myself, I decided to go check on the kids like I do most nights. I slipped into Alton's room to find him totally out, as usual. All snug and cozy under the blankets.

Then I sneaked into Evelyn's room. But, she wasn't asleep. In fact, she was wide awake. Normally this would not be a happy thing for me. But, last night I couldn't have been more glad! She was just what I wanted and needed to give me some purpose. I scooped her up and held her in the rocking chair for close to an hour. We giggled and whispered to each other. We got up for a few trips to the kitchen for a drink. But mostly I just held her and told her that she is my princess and that I love her more than any other little girl in the world. She would grin from ear to ear and say "Oh yeah!" in her sweet little voice.

I'm so glad Heavenly Father has given me children.

(They're having a "picnic" dinner in the living room while watching a movie. This is our new Wednesday evening tradition while Barry is at Scouts. We all love it, although, we wish that Daddy could be there, too.)